“If you don't get no poontang then you can't appreciate a man like me.”

“The headline makers in Division One were Poontang Casuals, who dismissed AVM 9-1 as Jake Howard got himself amongst the goals.”

“Poontang Casuals won well at the other end of the table, beating Buxton Army 2-0 with Lewis Johns finding his best form.”

“This mutt-ugly ruler just wants someone to love, so she keeps our easily manipulated muscleman hopped up on poor memory potion and poon.”

“I hope the poon is pretty sweet up there fellas, because nobody's got much cause to celebrate down here.”

“Having been surrounded by sweaty, stinky dudes for the last few weeks, he is desperate for some poon.”